{"id":95,"date":"2017-01-03T05:30:53","date_gmt":"2017-01-03T05:30:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/?p=95"},"modified":"2017-02-13T17:00:22","modified_gmt":"2017-02-13T17:00:22","slug":"rons-manifesto-agree-move","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/2017\/01\/03\/rons-manifesto-agree-move\/","title":{"rendered":"Ron’s Manifesto : Agree or Move On"},"content":{"rendered":"

I like you<\/strong>. At least I want<\/em> to like you. But we need to see eye to eye on some things. I would hope you and I agree on at least most of this stuff. If we don\u2019t, we should no longer remain friends, because this is core stuff in my head. Goodbye in advance if you disagree with my Manifesto .<\/p>\n

\"steviaStevia is awful.<\/strong> I would rather eat food that is super unsweet, or suffer the bad health consequences of real sugar, or take a bath in a tub full of the pink fake sugar, or drink a gallon of high-fructose corn syrup, than to even be in the same aisle at the grocery store with this stuff. You know this to be true.<\/em><\/p>\n

Black licorice<\/strong> is better than red licorice.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t like fennel.<\/strong> Food that tastes like licorice, but is in fact not<\/em> licorice, is bad.<\/p>\n

Except for sausage.<\/strong> Fennel is often found in sausage.<\/strong><\/a> Sausage is good.<\/p>\n

\"kardashians\"What I know and\/or care about the Kardashians<\/strong> could be engraved on a grain of rice in very large type. They should not matter to you, either.<\/p>\n

To shake things up at sporting events,<\/strong> we should occasionally sing the Preamble to the Constitution from \u201cSchoolhouse Rock\u201d<\/strong><\/a> before games.<\/p>\n

\"hockeyThere are too many bowl games<\/strong> in college football. They should get rid of most of them and keep these:
\n\u2022 Rose Bowl.<\/strong>
\n\u2022 Sugar Bowl.<\/strong>
\n\u2022 Cotton Bowl.<\/strong>
\n\u2022 Citrus\/Orange Bowl<\/strong> (those are redundant, so combine them and let four teams play a round robin, one quarter per pair, for a total of six ten-minute quarters. You know you\u2019d watch that!).
\n\u2022 Peach Bowl.<\/strong>
\n\u2022 Cereal Bowl<\/strong> because that should totally be a thing, because that was funny to me as a kid and will never be not funny<\/em>.
\n\u2022 Toilet Bowl<\/strong>, which is kind of like the Cereal Bowl, but was like a hundred times funnier to my seven-year-old self.<\/em> I drew a cartoon about it once, probably.
\n\u2022 Amos Alonzo Stagg Bowl<\/strong> because it has the coolest name.
\n\u2022And bring back the Beef \u2018O\u2019 Brady\u2019s Bowl<\/strong>, but send the two teams who were the biggest disappointments that season and shower them with scorn and humiliation\u2026 and rancid beef probably, I don\u2019t know.
\nEven after looking at this very short list, doesn\u2019t the world \u201cBowl\u201d seem kind of stupid looking and weird sounding? I rest my case. Too many of them.<\/em><\/p>\n

Speaking of quarters<\/strong>, if you said \u201cthere can\u2019t be six quarters in a game, there can only be four quarters,\u201d then I shall reply, \u201cfee and foo<\/strong><\/a>, behold what was in my pocket! Six quarters!\u201d
\n\"quarters\"
\nSpeaking of speaking of quarters<\/strong>, there should be exactly two<\/em> designs allowed on the back of United States 25-cent coins: The 1976 Bicentennial one with the with the fife and drum corps, and the other regular one, which has an eagle on the moon or something. I can\u2019t remember exactly what it looks like, because, and I cannot stress this enough\u2026 THERE ARE TOO MANY STUPID DESIGNS ON THE BACK OF OUR MONEY! If you wanted to make counterfeit coins, why copy an existing design when you can just put Chester Cheetah or some other spokescharacter on there? Who would notice? Seems legit.<\/p>\n

Same thing with pennies:<\/strong> Two designs: the one with the wheat and the one with the Parthenon from Nashville.<\/p>\n

\"el
\nEveryone secretly wants to drive an El Camino.<\/strong> If you say you don\u2019t, you are living a lie, and I can\u2019t abide by liars.<\/p>\n

So, are we cool?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I like you. At least I want to like you. But we need to see eye to eye on some things. I would hope you and I agree on at least most of this stuff. If we don\u2019t, we should no longer remain friends, because this is core stuff in my head. Goodbye in advance … Continue reading “Ron’s Manifesto : Agree or Move On”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,2],"tags":[19,11],"class_list":["post-95","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-all-seriousness-aside","category-rants","tag-manifesto","tag-rants"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/95","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=95"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/95\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":294,"href":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/95\/revisions\/294"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=95"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=95"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=95"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}