{"id":394,"date":"2019-01-11T04:40:27","date_gmt":"2019-01-11T04:40:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/?p=394"},"modified":"2019-08-31T08:51:50","modified_gmt":"2019-08-31T08:51:50","slug":"overheard-at-wendys-wednesday-1232-pm-boulder-colorado","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/2019\/01\/11\/overheard-at-wendys-wednesday-1232-pm-boulder-colorado\/","title":{"rendered":"Overheard at Wendy\u2019s, Wednesday, 12:32 PM, Boulder Colorado (If You Were There to Overhear Me)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Scene: Wendy\u2019s, Wednesday, 12:32 PM, Boulder Colorado<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Customer (AKA me, AAKA the Handsome Man), approaching counter with a partially wrapped burger minus a single bite removed from it: <\/strong>Excuse me\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Minimally Compensated Employee Behind Counter: <\/strong>Hello\u2026 Is there a problem with your order?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM: <\/strong>Why yes, there is. For you see, my Junior Bacon Cheeseburger is missing a key ingredient.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC:<\/strong> I am truly sorry to hear that. Is it missing the cheese?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM: <\/strong>No, there\u2019s plenty of cheese, thank you. Nope, you can see the cheese.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC: <\/strong>Perhaps the letuce? Or the tomatoes?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:<\/strong> No, no, something more integral to the concept of \u201cJunior Bacon Cheeseburger.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC: <\/strong>The very burger itself! You\u2019re missing the patty! Oh, dear!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:<\/strong> No, the patty appears to be there, minus a single bite of discovery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC: <\/strong>Whew! You wouldn\u2019t believe how often that happens here. Glad to hear the patty is there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:<\/strong> Guess again?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC: <\/strong>Well, I can clearly see the bun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM: <\/strong>There is in fact, a bun. No dispute there. It\u2019s something else. Something important. Think hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC: <\/strong>Is it the cheese?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:\u00a0<\/strong>NO, IT\u2019S NOT THE CHEESE!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC: <\/strong>We determined it\u2019s not the burger patty, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:\u00a0<\/strong>OH. MY. GOD. IT\u2019S THE BACON!!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC: <\/strong>What bacon?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:\u00a0<\/strong>THE BACON THAT SHOULD BE ON THE BURGER! THE VERY BACON THAT DEFINES THE CONCEPT OF \u201cBACON BURGER!!!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC: <\/strong>Oh, I see where the confusion lies. You were expecting bacon<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:\u00a0<\/strong>UMMM\u2026 YES!!!!! IT\u2019S THE ESSENCE OF A BACON BURGER ITSELF!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC: <\/strong>Yes, but this is a Junior<\/em> Bacon Cheeseburger. The removal of the bacon is what makes it \u201cJunior<\/em> Bacon Cheeseburger.\u201d Otherwise, it\u2019s kind of \u201cbig\u201d and not at all \u201cjunior.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:<\/strong> What am I missing here? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC: <\/strong>Well, not the bacon. I think I made it clear that due to its intentional removal, there isn\u2019t supposed to be bacon, therefore, it\u2019s not \u201cmissing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:\u00a0<\/strong>That\u2019s absurd.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC: <\/strong>I agree. Rather than removing the bacon, I think they shouldn\u2019t put it on there in the first place. Put the bacon on, then remove it\u2026 Ugh<\/em>. Way more efficient if you just skip that step. Plus, if you put it on and then forget to remove it, folks end up with bacon on their burgers, and that would be weird.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:\u00a0<\/strong>Umm\u2026 look, okay\u2026 sorry for the misinterpretation\u2026 Can you just please give just me a couple slices of roasted pig flesh and I\u2019ll be on my way? I\u2019ll even pay for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC: <\/strong> We can\u2019t sell bacon a la carte. There\u2019s no button on the register for that. Besides, you already have pig-based meat on your sandwich.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:<\/strong> I see only beef. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC: <\/strong>Right. Beef. As in \u201cHamburger.\u201d As in \u201cmade from pigs.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:\u00a0<\/strong>It\u2019s beef.<\/em>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC: <\/strong>Right. What part of \u201cham<\/em>burger\u201d don\u2019t you understand?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:<\/strong> The part where they call it \u201cham\u201d despite being beef?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC: <\/strong> Well, same thing. Only in this case, the \u201cnot including bacon\u201d burger is called the \u201cJunior Bacon\u201d burger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:\u00a0<\/strong>That\u2019s a dumb name.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC:<\/strong> So is \u201chamburger.\u201d Oh wait, no, it\u2019s ham<\/em> in burger<\/em> form. It\u2019s a perfect<\/em> name. Look, if you wanted not-pig<\/em>, you should have ordered a Junior Bacon Beefburger. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:\u00a0<\/strong>Would that have included bacon?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC: <\/strong>Yes, but not cheese. No cheese in the name. See, no confusion at all. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:<\/strong> Fine, can I please get a Junior Bacon Beefburger?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC: <\/strong>No. There\u2019s no such thing on the menu. Where did you even get that idea?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:<\/strong> So how do I get a beef patty, bacon, and cheese all on one burger?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC: <\/strong>Order the Spicy Ranch Chicken Wrap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:\u00a0<\/strong>Why would they call it that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC: <\/strong>Dunno. Because it sure doesn\u2019t have spicy ranch sauce on it. Or chicken, obviously. And it\u2019s really more of a flatbread.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:<\/strong> I don\u2019t care what it doesn\u2019t have! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC: <\/strong>And yet you\u2019re complaining about your burger not<\/em> having bacon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:<\/strong> FINE! Just give me a bun. With Bacon. And Cheese. And some sort of patty. Chicken, beef, horsemeat, I don\u2019t care! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC:<\/strong> I\u2019m afraid I can\u2019t do that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:\u00a0<\/strong>Why not?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC (mumbling): <\/strong>We\u2019re out of horsemeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:\u00a0<\/strong>THERE\u2019S NO HORSEMEAT IN BEEF!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC (mumbling): <\/strong>Shhhhh…. Please, keep your voice down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:\u00a0<\/strong>WHY!?!?!?!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC (mumbling): <\/strong>We don\u2019t want people to know we\u2019re out of horsemeat. That\u2019s what makes the ham in the burger really sing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM: <\/strong>People… actually… want horsemeat… in their burgers?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC:<\/strong> You mean people don\u2019t<\/em> not want to not have horsemeat in their burgers?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:\u00a0<\/strong>OH. MY. GOD. JUST GIVE ME A BUN WITH SOME COMBINATION OF BACON, BEEF, AND CHEESE!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC: <\/strong>That would be cruel to cows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM: <\/strong>I thought you said hamburger was made from pigs!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC:<\/strong> And horses. Cheese is made from cows. But whatever. One Senior Bacon Cheeseburger coming up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CAMAHM:<\/strong> You know what I really want? A refund.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MCEBC:<\/strong> Sure. You want fries with that?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Scene: Wendy\u2019s, Wednesday, 12:32 PM, Boulder Colorado Customer (AKA me, AAKA the Handsome Man), approaching counter with a partially wrapped burger minus a single bite removed from it: Excuse me\u2026 Minimally Compensated Employee Behind Counter: Hello\u2026 Is there a problem with your order? CAMAHM: Why yes, there is. For you see, my Junior Bacon Cheeseburger … Continue reading “Overheard at Wendy\u2019s, Wednesday, 12:32 PM, Boulder Colorado (If You Were There to Overhear Me)”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,5,4],"tags":[38,37],"class_list":["post-394","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-musings","category-people","category-wtf","tag-bacon","tag-wendys"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/394","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=394"}],"version-history":[{"count":25,"href":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/394\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":431,"href":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/394\/revisions\/431"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=394"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=394"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ronruelle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=394"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}